Why True Connection Is Key To A Beautiful Partnership With Horses
Connection is where it all begins with horses. Connection exists when two beings have their attention on one another. But a lot of what I see in the horse world is human’s trying to speak to the body of the horse, but the horse’s attention is everywhere but on the human. Or worse, the human is completely disconnected from their horse too with their head in their mobile phone, talking to friends or thinking about something totally unrelated to the present moment. No quality conversation can be had between to beings that are disconnected.
When you create connection with your horse, you are drawing their thoughts to you, you are inviting them to be present with you in the moment. Their focus is on you, with you. Your focus is on them, with them. You both are interested in each other, from there a conversation, dance or experience together can take place.
Once you have your horse’s mind (attention) on you, you can engage with them, they are listening to you. If you can get their mind, their energy and body will follow.
So often I see owners walk over to their horse, throw a halter on the horse’s head and pull (oops, lead) their horse’s body along. Luckily most horses get the gyst of how to best work with humans and they do so for the sake of their own comfort - but take that halter away and there’s no real connection between human and horse there.
WHY CREATE CONNECTION?
Personally, I’m interested in doing life and being WITH my horses. Through connection, you get presence. Both you and your horse are in the here and now. Anywhere else is imagined, thus the mind thinking about something else - taking you out of the present moment, disconnecting you from what is.
Practicing your capacity to be present, focused and connected with your horse in the moment nurtures your qualities as a trustworthy leader. Helping your horse become present, to have their mind where their hooves are, helps them feel safe, relaxed and taken care of.
A horse who has a scattered mind, who is constantly nibbling this, pulling on that, pawing the ground, invading your space is not present and is honestly, a handful to be around. Teaching anything to a horse in this state is challenging. A horse who is always anxious is (unconsciously but instinctively) worried about the possibility they may die. They are wanting to be somewhere else, in a different situation, can’t stand still. Again, these horse’s are a lot to handle and potentially dangerous if they shift into flight mode from excessive anxiety.
Helping this horse refocus their attention on the here and now, inviting them to relax (check out my post Why Relaxation Is Key To Working With Horses) will help them experience the present moment with you as something pleasant. You become the most soothing place to be, they will begin to look for your guidance when worried, ask you questions, and truly engage with you.
Connection allows them to feel seen, heard and cared for. This has a deeply profound effect on them which initiates relaxation. From relaxation and pleasant experiences with you, your horse begins to like you, want to be around you and trust you.
ACCESSING THE MAGIC OF LIBERTY & FREESTYLE RIDING
Once you have a real connection with your horse, you can remove the rope on the ground and your horse stays with you, you can still communicate together clearly, you can dance and play together.
To move into that wild thrill of riding a horse with no reins (nothing on their head), there are prerequisites for safety. First your horse needs to be connected to you, fully focused on you. You need to gift them with a crystal clear education in regards to being able to ask them to stop, backup, left, right, speed up, slow down, move their shoulders and hindquarters, and go sideways, without the use of the reins (before even taking them off). And finally, your horse needs to be trust-worthy. In the sense that they are confident not anxious, relaxed not stressed, and have the capacity to relax quickly even if something does cause them to worry. And I say worry, if your horse is one to easily go into panic, do not remove the reins. Safety first. But once you have connection, communication and education under the saddle & an emotionally intelligent horse - you’re ready for the magic!
There is a specific technique I use to create connection with any horse. I teach it inside of Lead with Love. This way of connecting with a horse can’t be shared in a blog format… words on paper just don’t do it justice. Check it out here and make the most of this insane deal of 80% off the entire program!