Crystal Clear Communication with Horses
We all want a beautiful relationship with our horses right? We dream of riding bareback, brideless on our dear horse that is so in tune with us it’s like they read our minds. No force, no pushing or pulling for control. Rather an effortless, subtle, refined, invisible conversation between horse & woman.
Communication is the core of all relationships, horsewomanship included. Being with horses is not just about education, training & caring for their wellbeing. It goes so much deeper.
We want our relationship to be a place of mutual expression and understanding. You want to develop your skills to deeply understand your horse’s needs, body language and more subtle expressions reflecting their internal state. So you can truly lead them from where they are at.
You also want to be understood by your horse so you can both move through your daily lives together. When you ask something of your horse, if there is good communication, your horse will understand and respond accordingly. If your communication is not clear, the experience together can get messy, noisy, forceful and unpleasant.
5 KEYS OF COMMUNICATION
Develop such trust with your horse that they actually talk to you (through subtle expressions)
Listen to & understand your horse
Educate your horse to learn to Respond to Pressure
Master your own energy & body langage
Be consistent & clear day in day out
WHY TRUST?
If you horse doesn’t trust you, why would they really want to follow your suggestions? Why would they even tell you things (subtle expression of their being) if they don’t believe you will listen & respond with their greatest good in mind? Trust is built through great leadership, but is also the result of your own regulated nervous system (more on this soon).
When you show your horse that you are truly listening to them & respond to their expressions in a way that is beneficial for them (by creating positive experiences for them) you will gain their trust From there, they will become more and more expressive, will ask you questions and turn to you when they seek guidance. Now you have opened the door for a whole new level of communication with your horse. One that is a two-way refined & subtle conversation.
LISTEN TO & UNDERSTAND YOUR HORSE
When have knowledge of your horse’s basic, social, emotional, physical & soul needs, you can begin to actually begin to understand their behaviour. Once you understand where the why, you can take care of the root of any “problems” or challenges your horse is experiencing. When you begin listening to the subtle signs + responding in the best way to your horse’s expressions, you will reinforce the relationship and their trust in you. Develop your capacity to listen to and read your horse like an open book. Simply placing the intention to do so will open the door to deepen your skills, questions will arise, but it’s exactly part of the process! I speak about these things in depth in Lead with Love.
EDUCATE YOUR HORSE
Teach your horse what pressure means. We use pressure with horses in many many ways. Pressure on the halter or reins. Pressure to ask them to pick up their feet. Pressure when we squeeze our legs when riding. Pressure on the halter to turn their head towards us or follow. Pressure to move this or that body part. Rythmic pressure with a stick to increase speed. etc…
It is essential that you understand how to use pressure intentionally and clearly if you want to become a great horsewoman. It is even more essential that your horse clearly understands what pressure means.
Each specific use of pressure has a specific response attached to it. Teach this to your horse and your communication will truly be strong. I share more about this in THIS ARTICLE and teach you how to create crystal clear communication in Lead with Love.
MASTER YOUR OWN ENERGY & BODY LANGUAGE
We mostly speak to our horses through our energy and body language. Whether we are aware of this or not, our horses are constantly receiving information from us in this way.
Horses are prey animals and they are fine tuned to the energy (vibrations + frequencies) around them, us included. Our energy gives them information of our emotional states and gives them an idea of what potential actions could come next (attack or nothing to be worried about). Simply becoming aware of your emotional & energetic state is a great first step. Are you carrying frantic energy & worry, yet you want your horse to be calm & relaxed? Learn to self-regulate because you will naturally influence your horse in consequence.
Our body is constantly speaking to our horse. Are you aware of what your hands and feet are doing at all times? Are you asking your horse to stand still but you are taking a hundred small steps on the spot? Are you moving around all the time and then expecting your horse to pick up on a small gesture/cue amidst the noise? Become aware and deeply intentional with your body language so you become a clear communicator for your horse. Again, we dive deep into this in Lead with Love.
Many people use their voice of vocal expression to communicate with their horse. And that’s great! But realise that when teaching your horse what these vocal expression mean, first you use body language. The horse learns about vocal expressions, but innately they understand your energy, emotions & body language first.
BE CONSISTENT
Get clear on what your communications codes are in your horses education and training. Stick to them. Don’t start speaking french when you initialy ask for something in english. Don’t let this be random. Know what your cues are for each and every thing you ask your horse.
Be consistent in how you teach your horse new things too so they can feel relaxed & clearly understand you. I always use Pat Parelli’s 4 phases when developing communication & my horses education. Being consistent with how you express yourself & how you communicate things also develops trust when done in a fair, loving & supportive way.
We can take this to another level in regards to our emotions. If we are inconsistent with our emotions, somedays we’re all loving and another we loose our sh*t at the slightest thing, our horse will wonder who the hell we are. Anything unpredictable is potentially dangerous for them, so as prey animals they will not trust us & will be a little on edge around us. Take care of yourself, lead yourself first to your own wellbeing. Only then can you guide others well.